I had a realization, just now.
As my life falls into place, I’m going to have the things I’ve always wanted. The things that before, I’ve only had tastes of.
That’s not the realization.
The realization, then:
What if these things were only alluring, when all I could have was a taste?
I know, I know, what is this, Creative Writing 101? Or Psychology 101, or Philosophy 101, or the fucking campus bar, where people solve the world’s problems? Really just insert a place where you’re bound to here the obvious, sophomoric takes.
Maybe it’s the kind of thing that feels profound whenever you experience it, because it’s a deep human experience. Experience being the key word here, since you can’t understand it based only on the idea.
Or maybe it’s the moment of clarity, when you can see, for a moment, what your future might be, see the dance between gains and losses, wondering if you’ll be able to move just right, to dance between the raindrops.
For years and years, Both Sides Now, sung by Neil Diamond, was my favourite song.
Talk about a moment, when, knowingly or not, you can see your future.
Something’s lost when something’s gained.
Or maybe I’m just a writer with a melancholic streak, spending ten minutes too long on something that should have been an idle thought.